Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Sugar ≠ Love

My lovely parents sent me a Valentine's package that I got yesterday. It was so nice, and they sent me lots of goodies - homemade chocolates and toffee, almond butter, organic fruit and nut based snacks (bars, nuts, trail mix, almond butter), and homemade carrot relish. The only thing with no sugar in it is the almond butter. Not to mention there was another cake at work yesterday for someone who is retiring. I haven't been having a lot of actual cravings for food, but when it's there I want to eat it. How can treats my mom made still be as bad as packaged processed crap? She gave it from a place of love. Luckily she didn't go overboard, and I will be happy to enjoy the yummy treats in March. Dark chocolate is still one of my favorite foods. But it touches something I've been thinking of lately. When there's food around that I have decided I don't eat, I am prone to get a case of food FOMO. So when I see things like cake out there looking to be eaten, I think about what I'm missing by not eating eat. Yes, a few moments of sugary deliciousness. But it's not the last cake that exists in the world, and I'm also missing out on the stomach ache, the blood sugar spike, the queasiness that comes with super sweet foods, additives, bleached sugar and flour, and the regret after I eat it. And just because something's homemade with good intentions and an emotional attachment doesn't mean it's the best thing for my health.
I'm not exactly great with eating in moderation, as much as I pretend to think I am. I'm hoping after the cleanse, when the closest thing I've had to dessert is a clementine or maybe at the most an energy ball made from dates, nuts and coconut, I'll be able to see treats as just that, a treat. Something to be eaten every once in a while but not all the time. And at the same time, a treat can be something that doesn't contain sugar - delicious fruit and almond butter, creamy soups, roasted seasonal vegetables, things that are good for my body and taste delicious. I'm working on changing my habits and emotions around food and eating, and I think the cleanse is really helping. We'll see how I feel at the end of this week, but finally completing the full 3 weeks will be a big accomplishment for me and will help me realize that I don't have to give into my cravings and emotions by eating. Eating food and sugar might feel like a replacement for love in the moment, but at the end of the day it makes everything worse.

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